Why does this have to be so hard? There are so many different thoughts and emotions swimming through my head. Is it hard because of who I am as a person or would this be hard on anyone? I don’t feel like its hard on you. Do you cry? Do you ever think I should have tried harder? Probably not. This utterly and completely sucks. I wish I had a time traveling machine so I could zoom past all the emotion. Why did you have to do this to me? I don’t know how to feel right now. Numb and scared that is what I am. I can’t see my way out of this dark tunnel. It’s all too much. My accident, finishing school and you. I can’t take it! It will get better people say. Well I’m losing my patience. I am tired of fighting to get up in the morning of putting one foot in front of the other. I want to run away and never look back. Perhaps to a Buddhist temple, the Amazon, anywhere but here. Maybe I will just lay in the grass until I melt into it. I wish that were possible.