This is completely out of order, but I need to sit down and write. I fell in love again, unexpectedly. I wasn’t planning this or looking for it. It just happened. He is a wonderful man. I am terrified that I am going to screw this up. I can’t quite figure out why I am so hard on myself. Maybe I don’t beleive in myself enough yet. My life feels like a constant battle. Two pieces of me fighting to see which will win, fear or hope. Sometimes I want to give into the fear and run like hell. Deep down I know that’s not what I want. Hope is the side I want to win. Hope that my dreams will come true. Hope that I will one day raise a family. Hope that a man will love all of me.