Letter to You

I have written this letter countless times in my head. There are many different versions……

One Version:

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.



Another Version:

Do you ever still think of me? Does a smell, song or memory ever hit you like a ton of bricks? Followed by thoughts of what we had, broken promises, intimate moments. Are you really happier with her? Is life easier?



The Latest Version:

To my love,

I have met and known several men since our parting. I suppose I have you to thank for expanding my horizons. I have learned a lot. Mostly, I have learned, time does heal all wounds if you have the patience to let it. You continue to be the only man I have ever fought and made changes for. I think you will be the only one I do this for. I have realized being loved by someone shouldn’t take so much work. Work in the sense that who I am as a person should be enough. A man should make you laugh more than he makes you cry. He should listen with compassion and empathy. Ask you for advice and respect your opinion. I have met men who are healthier, more evolved than you. In return they have helped heal me. They have shown me that men are capable of so much more than I ever thought or imagined. Men are capable of friendship, respect and compassion. Qualities I wasn’t sure actually existed because of my experience with you.

I still love you. Quite frankly, I always will. I would like to say I am completely whole from the heartache you caused me, but I’m not quite there. I am OK with that. I am the woman who gets back up. I am not the woman who falls and stays down. I am the woman who sings and dances in the shower, kitchen and car. I am the woman who is becoming the person I am meant to be. I am the woman who is doing this on her own.

My hope for you is that one day you will become the man I know you are capable of being. I forgive you for all the pain, doubt and sadness your actions caused me. I also forgive her.




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