There comes a time in the dating experience when you have an Ah Hell moment. You tend to have these moments more frequently if you were married and have figured out who you are.
What exactly is an Ah Hell moment? An Ah Hell moment happens usually after things have been going really well, you seem to have a strong connection, similar interests and values…..AND THEN BAM! He does something that is a complete turn off.
Ladies, I am going to share my Ah Hell moments. Maybe you haven’t figured out exactly who you are, maybe you are just starting to and maybe you need to know its OK to have Ah Hell moments and walk away.
- “We are not going anywhere” (complete with eye roll and yes apparently, men roll their eyes) In response to being told to slow down on the first date. And by slow down, I mean far too physical for my taste.
- Pressuring you to send dirty photos when you are just getting to know one another.
- Choosing video games over spending quality time, coupled with cancelling on you last minute so he can play said video games.
- Texting you after not hearing anything for 2 weeks and expecting things to be peachy keen and pick-up where they left off.
- Licking your face (well that would be their version of kissing to be fair).
- Crop dusting Victoria’s Secret and then posting about it on Facebook.
- “Don’t use big words just to sound smarter than me.” Ah yes, the proverbial your intelligence intimidates me so I am going to try and make you feel guilty for it.
- “They’re disgusting.” In response to someone complimenting your tattoos.
- Not showing up for dinner and not calling. Which means you hear from him an hour after he was supposed to be there with a very lame excuse, “It just doesn’t feel right.” As in it doesn’t feel right to drive because they have psychic abilities and something could happen.
- “I can’t pee and it’s your fault.” As in, I can’t pee, ergo, you gave me an STD, but in actuality you didn’t and you know damn well you didn’t. And the more infuriating aspect of the situation is no matter what its your fault. Note to self don’t date a man raised a conservative baptist, yet thinks he has become more open minded. He hasn’t and probably never will.
I like to call them Ah Hell moments because for me they are different than deal breakers. And to be quite frank, Ah Hell, is exactly what I say in my head when they occur. For me deal breakers are usually apparent up front. Perhaps its the age, education level, where they are at in life, etc. Deal breakers to me are things I find out generally before going on multiple dates or I find out quickly during the first date or talking to them prior. I would also like to say that having been married, I date with the perspective of, Is this man husband material? I know who I am more than ever now. I know what I need and want from a man. An Ah Hell moment is a shear sign, that man is not for me. There is nothing wrong with that, I repeat, nothing wrong with that. I have seen my friends give a lot of slack to the men they are dating and to be honest I have too. I think the important thing to remember is you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t have to compromise who you are, your values and what you want because that is what HE WANTS. My advice, teach yourself its OK to walk away, to know what you want and listen to the inner voice. Those three things are exactly how you will find the right partner for you. I myself am looking for a partner and a man who understands what that means. I am sure when it is all said and done I will have 100 more Ah Hell moments, if not more.