Oh Fox News you never cease to amaze me with the material you choose to share with the world. Yes, I just read the article, Why women still need husbands by Suzanne Venker.
For those who are not aware of this article here is a quick recap, women need work life balance, men need money and the ability to provide for their families to feel good about themselves, and women need men to have work life balance because after all you can’t take your paycheck to bed with you. Essentially, men belong in the work place and women well we do for a time and then once a family comes into play we should really take a secondary role. Also, how dare Jennifer Aniston proclaim that you don’t need a man to have a child. Another amazing tid bit, Sheryl Sandberg is the exception not the rule and we should all Lean on our husband.
After reading this article, I experienced a range of emotions. First of all I immediately thought, my grandmother is rolling over in her grave right now. Then I almost laughed out loud because lets face it the piece was ran by Fox News and they aren’t exactly the champion of equality. So in a way I wasn’t surprised and quickly dismissed the very point the author was trying to drive home. I debated if I should write a piece in response to this at all. Then I quickly realized if for nothing else, I must put my grandmother’s spirit to rest once again.
Work life balance……every woman comes to a point in her life where she contemplates this seriously. On some level this very idea drives more of our female decision making then we probably realize or care to admit. I know it does for me. In fact it wasn’t until I read Sherly Sandberg’s book, Lean In, that it smacked me right in the face how much work life balance dictates my decision making. I am willing to bet Suzanne Venker hasn’t even read the book because if she had she would know a very key point, husbands should be an equal partner. If you as a women WANT and I repeat WANT to have an amazing career along with a family then you should be able to do so. What that requires is a husband who HELPS (crazy concept I know) with the so called domestic duties.
Suzanne Venker discusses in her article how women debate making room for a social life, working out, house work, spending time with their kids and cooking. According to her the answer is obvious. Lean on your husband. Ok, I could go with that. You almost had me Suzanne, you sly dog you. Where I get lost is the idea hammered home by Suzanne that leaning on your husband implies giving up your career and working part time or not at all. After all as a woman all I want in life is to be with my children 24/7.
The idea that as a woman I would want more than that is absurd according to Suzanne. After all there is no way to be a wife, mother and full time employee. Perhaps she is right. I would like to believe she is wrong. Suzanne, this may blow your mind, but what if WOMEN started defining what it means to be a wife, mother and full time employee? What if women lived in a world where they could say yes I want all those things and to me this is what they mean. Maybe being a wife and mother doesn’t have to mean that you are the only one doing the bulk of the domestic work. So yes, Suzanne you got part of the equation correct, lean on your husband, but lean on your husband to do his EQUAL share of the domestic work.
I refuse to believe Suzanne is correct. I worked my tail off for my education and my career. My dream is to have an amazing career, to contribute to the world and to teach my children that we can have it all, we just don’t have to do it all by ourselves. That is what a partner is for.
One more thing Suzanne, you can take your paycheck to bed with you, it can buy you a whole lot of vibrators. And it can also adopt a child and/or purchase sperm.