Confession: I am human

Let me set the scene.

Sitting in my hotel room, far away in Pittsburg, lacking reliable internet access and attempting to work from my iPad. The daunting list of worries entered my mind.

Fundraising page is supposed to launch tomorrow – CHECK
Sensory sensitivity overload – CHECK
Forgot my iPad keyboard – CHECK
Would be easier if I had a laptop – CHECK
If I want to use a computer I have to pay $5.95 per 15 minutes – CHECK
My iPAD is frustrating the hell out of me – CHECK
Borrowed laptop is super old and slow and sites are not loading correctly – CHECK

What does this result in?

I had a complete and utter freak out moment, a moment of absolute PANIC! How the hell am I actually going to raise $30,000, host 2 campaign events and collect and share stories? If it doesn’t all happen am I complete failure?

Then I attended a workshop called Reclaiming Your Power and something AMAZING happened. I remembered I am human. My mind was opened and I learned even more about becoming the best version of myself. This is what my story is about, becoming the best version of me. It is a trial and error journey, it is a constant learning process and it is magical. I hope it never ends.

What did I learn?

Thoughts come out of nothing. You can say one morning, today I think I won’t think–that is already a thought. They come from nothing and go back to nothing – like clouds in the sky. We attach to them as is they were true. No one has ever been able to control their thinking. You don’t let go of thoughts, you meet them with understanding and then they let go of you. Like a rain drop. They appear. Would you argue with a rain drop? No, raindrops aren’t personal and neither are thoughts. Once a painful – attached thought is met with understanding, the next time it appears you may find it interesting. The next time funny and the next time not even notice it. This is the power of loving what is. Byron Katie

Your power lies with questioning your thoughts, which you become aware of through your feelings or unmet needs. This leads you to question your beliefs.

It is also good to know that up to 98% of your thoughts, which form your beliefs and stories about how things and people should be, and your conditioning or programming is not yours. It is a gift for your growth, a way for you to get to know yourself. Your life’s journey, getting to know you, your life your purpose and passions is all about tossing out what part of that 98% conditioning serves you and what doesn’t. It is a full time job, you don’t really have time to change others, and no one will ever experience what you do, so quit asking them too. The opportunity is to be aware, then you can choose to discover the truth and reclaim it and yourself. Know the difference between subconscious and conscious minds gives a way to manage our power.

Inquiry, questioning your thoughts, versus controlling, ignoring, repressing or getting in an obsessive loop (don’t know about you but I sure do this), is a process of depersonalizing for the moment, getting above it versus being in it, in order to determine what part to own and take personal and what parts to let go and “give back” to the others or universe.

Uh, is she talking about me right now? Yep, pretty sure she is. How on earth did she know this was exactly what I needed to hear? In my professional life I can’t say that I have attended a lot of workshops that have blown my mind, until today.

Let me set the new scene.

Mind blown, frantically writing and realizing holy hell this is a way to process my freak out moment. Hallelujah….cue trumpets and angels!

How can I change my thinking to regain power? Because right now my frazzled emotions are running the show. For starters, I can stop expecting or wanting people to send me stories. Instead, I can lead by example and share my own stories. I am sure I have plenty. I may not end up with sharing one a day like originally planned, but I can alter my plan. By altering my plan, I regain power, thereby reducing my stress.

Ahh……..

Body relaxing – CHECK
Energy restoring – CHECK
Power coming back – CHECK
Spirits uplifted, the world is sunny again – CHECK
I can do this! – CHECK

I owe this mood and mind changing moment to Barb Horn. Check out her website for more great stuff.

I also recommend checking out Byron Katie, who Barb introduced us to.

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